The Perfect Ten: The Men’s Turn!

In no particular order!

A few weeks ago, I embarked upon an aimless pondering upon what were, in my opinion, the ten most perfectly flawless women to ever grace the planet. Well, now it’s time for the opposite sex to get their fair share of the spotlight, as I turn to the ten (of the) most perfectly flawless men to ever grace the planet (70% of whom are or were part of the music scene…okay…maybe 90%).

I must ‘fess up. I have a mild tendency to claim that any attractive male celebrity whom I lay eyes upon is ‘the love of my life’. Thus, this was an extremely difficult task for The High Priestess. Therefore, I came to the conclusion that I would narrow it down to my ten ultimate faves (excluding one…or two…or five…it pays to be ruthless), particularly in the iconic fashion sense. So, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, My ‘Perfect Ten’: Male Edition!

10) Brian Ferry

The lead singer of Roxy Music, Brian Ferry was and continues to be The King of Smooth. Three words: suave, suave, suave. I mean, this fella is rocking a pair of leather trousers in an image above like no other person ever could. Ross Geller, eat your heart out! And who could possibly forget the iconic baby blue suit, candyfloss pink tie combination from the Jealous Guy video? Fabulous, dahling!

9) Oliver Sim

This man is to blame for my obsession with elbow slits in clothing. Tucking formal peg-leg trousers or hareem pants into long black DMs was never fashionable until Oliver Sim came along. And not only is his style fashion-forward, it is also practical, especially considering the unusual yet hypnotising shapes this guy pulls on stage. Love you long time, Mr. Sim (and Romy…and Jamie…).

8) Kurt Cobain

If Brian Ferry is The King of Smooth, Kurt is most certainly The King of Grunge. With his dirty shoulder-length blond hair, baggy sweaters and jeans that any mother would have thrown in the bin a long time ago, Cobain became the defining image of an era and the mouthpiece for a generation of misunderstood teens. His legacy continues its reign to this very day, with a new age of teens being introduced to his music with every new rising sun, and both men and women citing him as their ultimate style icon.

(This song seriously speaks to me.)

7) Steve Strange

I’m in awe of his eccentricity. In fact, I’m downright envious of it. As the founding father of the ‘Blitz Kids’ scene in London in the 1970s and 1980s (and consequently the New Romantics), we are all eternally indebted to Strange for encouraging androgyny and the wearing of Victoriana attire simply to pop down to the shops.

6) James Quaintance

With the face of a cherub and the body of a rockabilly bad boy, James Quaintance was created to break hearts. A jack of all trades, he is just as comfortable working the runway as he is with the ink and needle or wheeling around Venice Beach on a skateboard. He even dabbles in the music scene. Perfection? I think so.

5) Jeff Buckley

It is no secret that I am madly in love with Jeff Buckley. With a voice as ethereal as a siren’s song (see what I did there?), hauntingly beautiful eyes and a through-other fashion sense, Jeff is the idealistic heartthrob for this lost little Goth girl. The morbid corner of my mind is also sickeningly roped in by the mystery of his eerie death. A conspiracy? We may never know. All I know for certain is this: I LOVE JEFF BUCKLEY.

Effortless. He doesn’t even have to try. How is this possible? How is this real? Ugh.

4) Robert Smith

The crazy-cool lead singer of The Cure is my beauty style icon. I mean, he got the ultimate Gothic make-up look down to a tee. And he is most certainly my hairspray rival. The quest for volume knows no end. I spy with my little eye something beginning with ‘s’…

3) Eddie Redmayne

Okay, so maybe Master Redmayne’s style isn’t exactly iconic…yet. But I simply couldn’t resist. I adore this man. Completely and utterly in love. The hair. The freckles. THAT SMILE. I could look at his face all day. I actually want to look at his face all day. I don’t want to do anything else. It hurts. It hurts so bad. My little heart. Swoon. Hurry up and move on Niamh before you make a fool of yourself…or is it too late?

2) Paul Weller

I have inherited an admiration for this man from a mod revival mother who tried her utmost to replicate his style. But seriously, what is not to love? The Modfather used fashion as a weapon to reel in a generation of unruly teens and taught them with words of rebellion in his new wave anthems. Angry young men looking their finest. And the best part about Paul Weller? HE IS STILL DROP DEAD GORGEOUS TO THIS VERY DAY. He is the perfect embodiment of the ‘fine wine’ comparison.

1) Morrissey

Morrissey is my god. I think we all already know that. Need I say more? He has an effortlessly cool image which just screams, “I know men and women are falling for me and I sincerely couldn’t care less. I hate people. Bring me my cat.” It is he to whom I pay tribute with my characteristic undercut and quiff. Morrissey, how I adore thee. Teach me your ways. And lend me your shirts.

That’s me. I’m done, off to cuddle my teddybears and spend the rest of my life painfully alone because no man will ever live up to my ridiculous expectations, considering my ‘perfect ten’ are well and truly perfect. Sigh. Ah well.

Toodle-pip!

-Niamhy xx

Let’s Talk About THAT Dior Ad…

Could this be Dior’s greatest marketing ploy to date?

You know the name.

You know the face.

You know the song.

And now you know the brand and its product.

Congratulations, Dior. A gold star for effort and buckets of gold reserves in the bank as a result of this masterpiece of advertising.

I must not tell a lie; I was making my Sunday commute to work when my mother sent me a frantic, hysterical text message excitedly telling me of how she had just witnessed this advert for the first time way, way back in that glorious month of August. And do you know what was the most astonishing aspect of this tale? Mi madre was able to recall EVERY SINGLE MINUSCULE DETAIL about this two minutes of sheer brilliance. This is from a woman who constantly walks into rooms and forgets why she is even there to begin with. That’s how you know you’ve done a commendable job of advertising.

I must not tell another lie; as soon as I read my mother’s (rather hilarious) texts, I immediately made a pit-stop at YouTube and went on the search for the Holy Grail of advertising. And this one minute forty-five second advert turned into fifteen minutes of ogling the startlingly handsome Mr. Pattinson.

From the very first glimpse of his casual lounging on a rooftop in the blazing sun to that final smouldering glare into my soul, I was sold. And don’t even get me started on the smoking (fully-dressed) in the bathtub. By gad. Gee golly. Holy heart failure, Batman! A round of applause to the stylists on the set, without whom none of this seething gorgeousness would undeniably be possible. Mod suits galore!

But of course, this advertisement would not be so brilliant without the magnificent song styling of Led Zeppelin and the fabulously rocking ‘Whole Lotta Love’. It just completes the package in a way that no other song ever could. Perfection, perfection, perfection.

To conclude, I want to address all the men of the world and say…go out and purchase some Dior Homme. If it makes you even half as alluring as Sir Pattinson, it will be money well spent.

-Niamhy xx