A-Z Of Reasons To Recover: A Is For Academic Study

First things first: we must wish my bloggy wog a belated happy birthday, WordPress having just notified me yesterday that I officially registered with them exactly one year ago. So happy first anniversary to the blog formerly known as “High Priestess Fashion”, now more appropriately called “High Priestess Resurrected” following its root-and-branch overhaul! Here’s to many more! Anyone for a slice of celebratory cake…?

Next thing on the agenda: the real business! Another thing which came to my attention yesterday was that I have now completed six full weeks of recovery meal plans (snaps for me). This realisation in conjunction with the fact that I recently began my CBT-E treatment encouraged me to finally pursue a blog post series which I have been mulling over for a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time. The name of this series?

A-Z OF REASONS TO RECOVERRRRRRRRRRR! *to be said in the style of that movie trailer voiceover guy*

So basically this series will do exactly what it says on the tin; I will explore all my own personal reasons to recover, following the order of (yep, you guessed it) the alphabet. Pretty self-explanatory. Now, without further ado, in the immortal words of Fraulein Maria, let’s start from the very beginning because it’s a very good place to start…

A is for ACADEMIC STUDY!

Confession: I am a massive nerd. A geek. A dweeb. A bookworm. All of the above. It simply cannot be denied, and I will scream the fact loud and proud from every rooftop, every tree, every mountain; ladies and gentlemen, I LOVE LEARNING!

Unfortunately, extreme perfectionism and obsessive compulsive disorder are co-morbid with anorexia nervosa. And what does this mean, you may ask? Why is this statement relevant? Well, you know when your average teenager complains that “studying kills them”? Yeah…well…studying for A-Levels almost did kill me.

There was no way I could fail. I simply could not live with myself if I did not achieve absolute perfection. So I made sure I did. Every waking second for me was spent in intense study, not one moment could be wasted. Thus, for me, eating became a waste of time, a form of procrastination. And we couldn’t possibly have that, could we, Niamh? Certainly not. It actually got to the stage where I was going into exams having consumed a “lunch” of eight green grapes because the thought of not working up until the very minute I entered that exam hall filled me with fear. I don’t think I can adequately put into words what a dreadful existence this was.

Now, here’s the plot twist.

I wouldn’t change my behaviour in those final months of grammar school for the world.

Gasp.

Shock.

Horror.

There are two main reasons for this revelation:

NUMBER ONE!

No other person on this earth will ever be able to experience what I felt the moment I opened my results to discover that I had achieved 3A*s and 1 A in my four A-Levels. I don’t think any other emotion could contend with that great wave of satisfaction; that adrenaline burst of sheer accomplishment followed by the sudden realization that all the hard work had paid off and you were now going to be studying your passion in the university of your dreams. See that previously-posted photo of the Hogwarts-esque building? Yeah, that’s Queen’s University Belfast and I study English there. Add to that the fact that my grades were enough to garner me one of the five Queen’s Scholars of 2015, meaning that I am now an ambassador for the university and I have my fees paid for by way of a full scholarship. Therefore, it would be impossible for me to regret my extreme behaviour during exam season; had I not been the me I was then, I may not have achieved this great feat.

On the other hand…

NUMBER 2!

A-Level exam season 2015 gave me the kick in the ass I needed to realise that I had a serious problem and that if I didn’t seek help ASAP…well, the consequences simply do not bear thinking about. I was a mess. I still am a mess. But at least now I’m the pilot revving up the engine of my aeroplane, beginning to edge towards the runway. Back in June, I was still a passenger, sitting on my hand luggage in the departures lounge, passively waiting on a delayed flight. I didn’t even know where my desired destination was. The world was passing me by. Well, not any more. And I have the terrible, terrible A-Level exam season 2015 to thank for this epiphany. Furthermore, six weeks under a recovery meal plan may not lead to any sort of weight gain (if I’m being honest, my weight has actually decreased, but we shall dwell no more on that this evening) but it does allow for greater coherency of thought. Therefore, I now realise it would be next to impossible for me to even continue any sort of academic study at the severely low weight I am currently at. Calories are not monsters. Calories are merely units of energy. And energy is what I need if I ever want my devotion to literature to flourish and grow. Recovery is my only option.

I shall leave you with a piece of literature which has recently given me much consolation. I don’t want to be one of T.S. Eliot’s Hollow Men, shape without form, shade without colour, paralysed force, gesture without motion. I must choose to instead embrace my status as a Velveteen Rabbit…

-Niamhy xx

Happy Valentine’s Day from High Priestess Fashion!

As an eternal singleton, I thought, “What better way to celebrate Valentine’s Day on my little bloggy-wog than to do what I do best…and create a list of my tippy-toppy heartthrobs?” And I mean all of them. The weird AND the wonderful. EVERY. LAST. ONE. There are no secrets over here. Let the fun begin…

NB-I am going to try my best not to include any of the glorious males featured in my best dressed men post from a few weeks back. But that might be very difficult to me. So I shan’t make any promises.

THE CONVENTIONAL

1) Dan Smith

If some miracle-worker approached me tomorrow and told me that I could choose one celebrity to carry around in my pocket for the rest of my life, this fella here would be number one choice, no questions asked. It would seem he’s just about the only person who is as obsessed with Twin Peaks is I am. And that’s gotta count for something, right? Plus he’s as cute as a button. There are no flaws here. None whatsoever. Oh, and did I mention he has the voice of a heavenly angel? I should also probably note I have been to every gig he’s ever performed in Belfast. Me? An obsessed fan? Never.

2) James McAvoy

I’ve been infatuated with this guy since the moment I laid eyes on his hairy hooves in The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. Ten years later and not much has changed; he’s still as gorgeous and I’m still as infatuated. Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only James McAvoy: my first celebrity obsession. And it got me bad. It really did. Sigh…the memories…sweet, sweet youth…

3) Alex Turner

The ‘bad boy’ persona. The arrogance. The cheekiness. The accent. And those heartwrenching lyrics. These are the qualities that make up the man responsible for composing the soundtrack of my heartbreak, the painfully alluring Alex Turner. My dreams came true last summer when I finally had the opportunity to witness this glorious specimen perform live and…well…let’s just say it certainly was an intense experience. And now for the song which defined my late teenage years…

4) Eddie Redmayne

Hey, I did say I wasn’t making any promises! And how could I possibly exclude the man of the moment, the delightful Mr. Redmayne? JUST LOOK AT THOSE FRECKLES. I couldn’t resist. I simply couldn’t. My love is eternal.

5) James Blake

I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to anyone who has ever been subjected to my hyperactive babbling about how much I…ahem…appreciate this man and his music. I would like to apologise in particular to anyone has ever been subject to a detailed description in regards to one particular song of his. But really, Blakey, are you trying to kill me with this? Are you actually trying to kill me? (For anyone, James Blake’s I Am Sold is my favourite song in the history of the world and I am obsessed with it and I listen to it on loop like constantly but I mean, it is actually the most stunningly magnificent song ever written, like what is there not to love?)

THE UNCONVENTIONAL

1) Steven Patrick Morrissey

No surprises here then, am I right? Okey dokey. Moving swiftly on…

2) David Lynch

When I grow up, I want to be just like David Lynch. Scrap that; when I grow up, I want to BE David Lynch. Except female. I am completely and utterly in love with this absolute genius’ beautifully disturbing mind. Plus we share the same birthday. Obviously January 20th is the day for birthing creative excellence.

3) WB Yeats

A mermaid found a swimming lad, picked him for her own, pressed her body to his body, laughed; and plunging down forgot in cruel happiness that even lovers drown. Need I elaborate?

THE FICTIONAL 

1) Special Agent Dale Cooper

I too like Audrey Horne have a dream whereby a tall, dark and handsome stranger falls madly in love with me and takes me away to a life of mystery and international intrigue. It would seem that Agent Cooper’s only problem is that, in the immortal words of Audrey Horne once more, he simply is “too perfect”. I completely identify with my beloved Audrey because I am also totally besotted with My Special Agent. It certainly is wonderful and strange.

2) Dimitri from Anastasia (1997)

I understand how completely deranged this may seem but in my defence Dimitri was EXTREMELY well animated! Plus John Cusack’s voice is a major winner. So can you blame the four year old me for falling in love with this cartoon character after watching him teach Anastasia how to waltz? I maintain to this very day that good ol’ Dimitri is the reason I continue to have issues in the love department. He set my expectations at too great a level. The bar was raised far too high. I am destined for failure.

3) Duckie

TEAM DUCKIE ‘TIL I DIE. I highly doubt I will ever be able to forgive Andie for choosing Blaine over him. He lived to like her. He would’ve DIED for her. C’mon Andie, couldn’t you have just tried a little tenderness?

4) Fox Mulder

It would seem that I certainly have a ‘thing’ for fictional FBI agents. Seriously though, there is nothing more attractive than a man with a passion. Especially a passion for the extra-terrestrial. Add to that a strangely therapeutic monotonous drone of a speaking voice and a wicked collection of trench coats, and you’ve got Fox Mulder. What a droll cat he is.

I guess it’s time I gave up my chitter-chatter before I get too boisterous and bubbly and say something I will undoubtedly regret in the morning. But before I depart, I would like to leave you with a gloriously Gothic ballad of love on this Valentine’s Day. To all those in love, out of love, experiencing unrequited love or blissfully content whether part of a pair or riding solo, I wish you a happy Valentine’s weekend!

-Niamhy xx

Spotlight On THE WHITEPEPPER!

In the not-too-distant past (literally about three days ago), I began to notice a trend forming amongst the people I follow on Instagram. Suddenly, everyone was posting perfectly filtered photographs of themselves in adorable little vintage-inspired outfits, each photo accompanied by the Insta-tag #TWPIveBeenNaughty. Naturally, I was curious. Naturally, I wanted to decipher this cryptic code. And naturally, I found the source of this foreign tongue.

And that source was the London-based online fashion brand THE WHITEPEPPER.

What started out as a meagre Tumblr blog soon developed into an online store, and now the brand stocks concessions in the likes of ASOS, Topshop and my very own Urban Outfitters. It truly is a Cinderella-esque rags-to-riches story.

If I am completely honest, a lot of the designs on the site are a little too sweet and kitschy for my rebellious self, nevertheless I absolutely adore the cutesy tea dresses and vintage sweaters. However, I was rather pleasantly surprised by how head-over-heels in love I fell with some of the more sinister, gothic-chic items, which I could definitely see gracing the Narnia caverns of my wardrobe sometime soon (including one particular accessory which I highly doubt I can live without from this moment onwards).

So, without further ado, here are the top five items from the cherubic brand THE WHITEPEPPER…

1) The Sleeveless Velvet Layer Smock Dress

One can never have too many LBDs. And how fetching is this delightful little number? I’m a sucker for a turtleneck but the naked arms add a touch of allure to the otherwise rather conservative dress, whilst the black velvet and the net frill detail at the hem adds a touch of elegance and glamour. The perfect Christmas party dress if you ask me. So get your (ice)skates on before the festive season is beyond us and you’ve missed your chance!

2) Hologram Angular Lace Up Brogue

Masculine shoe shape? Check. Sci-fi-perfect holographic upper? Check. Whacky heel? Check. Tell me, what is not to love about these eye-catching shoes? Dressed up with a feminine shift dress or dressed down with some bobby socks and a pair of mom jeans, these would be the ideal addition to the alternative shoe closet.

3) Limited Edition Stripe Frill Hem Knit Jumper Dress 

Although no longer available in black on the website (the navy and teal is still pretty fab), I couldn’t possibly write this post without including this little number. Did someone say ‘Twin Peaks’? Words cannot possibly convey how much I long to don this ensemble and dance around in my socks, pretending I’m Audrey Horne swooning along to some ‘dreamy’ music in the Double R Diner…sigh…

4) Oversized Teddy Coat

This would be an absolutely heavenly companion on this night of sub-zero temperatures. It’s the sort of jacket that once you see it on a person, you simply have to hug the wearer. That is, if the wearer can spare a second to stop hugging themselves. It is just one cuddly, cosy, snuggly, lovable, carressible, warm…wait, where am I going with this again?

And last but not least, my ultimate favorito…

5) Textured Faux Fur Shoulder Bag

This would be the perfect final touch to the perfect fictional outfit I have concocted in my mind’s eye for my birthday in January. Therefore, I must have it. There can be no debate. There can be no deliberation. There can be no question about it. I. MUST. HAVE. IT. That is all.

Honestly, this list could have gone for quite a while longer but that’s no matter-tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther…wait. That’s the coda of The Great Gatsby. I have no idea how to finish blog posts. Can I not just let F. Scott Fitzgerald do it for me? I’m away. Bye-bye.

-Niamhy xx