As an eternal singleton, I thought, “What better way to celebrate Valentine’s Day on my little bloggy-wog than to do what I do best…and create a list of my tippy-toppy heartthrobs?” And I mean all of them. The weird AND the wonderful. EVERY. LAST. ONE. There are no secrets over here. Let the fun begin…
NB-I am going to try my best not to include any of the glorious males featured in my best dressed men post from a few weeks back. But that might be very difficult to me. So I shan’t make any promises.
THE CONVENTIONAL
1) Dan Smith
If some miracle-worker approached me tomorrow and told me that I could choose one celebrity to carry around in my pocket for the rest of my life, this fella here would be number one choice, no questions asked. It would seem he’s just about the only person who is as obsessed with Twin Peaks is I am. And that’s gotta count for something, right? Plus he’s as cute as a button. There are no flaws here. None whatsoever. Oh, and did I mention he has the voice of a heavenly angel? I should also probably note I have been to every gig he’s ever performed in Belfast. Me? An obsessed fan? Never.
2) James McAvoy
I’ve been infatuated with this guy since the moment I laid eyes on his hairy hooves in The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. Ten years later and not much has changed; he’s still as gorgeous and I’m still as infatuated. Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only James McAvoy: my first celebrity obsession. And it got me bad. It really did. Sigh…the memories…sweet, sweet youth…
3) Alex Turner
The ‘bad boy’ persona. The arrogance. The cheekiness. The accent. And those heartwrenching lyrics. These are the qualities that make up the man responsible for composing the soundtrack of my heartbreak, the painfully alluring Alex Turner. My dreams came true last summer when I finally had the opportunity to witness this glorious specimen perform live and…well…let’s just say it certainly was an intense experience. And now for the song which defined my late teenage years…
4) Eddie Redmayne
Hey, I did say I wasn’t making any promises! And how could I possibly exclude the man of the moment, the delightful Mr. Redmayne? JUST LOOK AT THOSE FRECKLES. I couldn’t resist. I simply couldn’t. My love is eternal.
5) James Blake
I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to anyone who has ever been subjected to my hyperactive babbling about how much I…ahem…appreciate this man and his music. I would like to apologise in particular to anyone has ever been subject to a detailed description in regards to one particular song of his. But really, Blakey, are you trying to kill me with this? Are you actually trying to kill me? (For anyone, James Blake’s I Am Sold is my favourite song in the history of the world and I am obsessed with it and I listen to it on loop like constantly but I mean, it is actually the most stunningly magnificent song ever written, like what is there not to love?)
THE UNCONVENTIONAL
1) Steven Patrick Morrissey
No surprises here then, am I right? Okey dokey. Moving swiftly on…
2) David Lynch
When I grow up, I want to be just like David Lynch. Scrap that; when I grow up, I want to BE David Lynch. Except female. I am completely and utterly in love with this absolute genius’ beautifully disturbing mind. Plus we share the same birthday. Obviously January 20th is the day for birthing creative excellence.
3) WB Yeats
A mermaid found a swimming lad, picked him for her own, pressed her body to his body, laughed; and plunging down forgot in cruel happiness that even lovers drown. Need I elaborate?
THE FICTIONAL
1) Special Agent Dale Cooper
I too like Audrey Horne have a dream whereby a tall, dark and handsome stranger falls madly in love with me and takes me away to a life of mystery and international intrigue. It would seem that Agent Cooper’s only problem is that, in the immortal words of Audrey Horne once more, he simply is “too perfect”. I completely identify with my beloved Audrey because I am also totally besotted with My Special Agent. It certainly is wonderful and strange.
2) Dimitri from Anastasia (1997)
I understand how completely deranged this may seem but in my defence Dimitri was EXTREMELY well animated! Plus John Cusack’s voice is a major winner. So can you blame the four year old me for falling in love with this cartoon character after watching him teach Anastasia how to waltz? I maintain to this very day that good ol’ Dimitri is the reason I continue to have issues in the love department. He set my expectations at too great a level. The bar was raised far too high. I am destined for failure.
3) Duckie
TEAM DUCKIE ‘TIL I DIE. I highly doubt I will ever be able to forgive Andie for choosing Blaine over him. He lived to like her. He would’ve DIED for her. C’mon Andie, couldn’t you have just tried a little tenderness?
4) Fox Mulder
It would seem that I certainly have a ‘thing’ for fictional FBI agents. Seriously though, there is nothing more attractive than a man with a passion. Especially a passion for the extra-terrestrial. Add to that a strangely therapeutic monotonous drone of a speaking voice and a wicked collection of trench coats, and you’ve got Fox Mulder. What a droll cat he is.
I guess it’s time I gave up my chitter-chatter before I get too boisterous and bubbly and say something I will undoubtedly regret in the morning. But before I depart, I would like to leave you with a gloriously Gothic ballad of love on this Valentine’s Day. To all those in love, out of love, experiencing unrequited love or blissfully content whether part of a pair or riding solo, I wish you a happy Valentine’s weekend!
-Niamhy xx
High Priestess Resurrected 