Welcome Back, Wonderland LA!

The moment I birthed this baby of mine (I’m speaking of this blog, obviously), I have been dying to write a blog post about Wonderland LA. Numerous times I have gone to compose an article about this emporium only to come across an insurmountable hurdle; that of the temporary closure of the online store as a result of a mysterious fire in what I may wrongly recall as being the shop stockroom? Or am I confusing this with ASOSgate? Hmmm…

Either way, some brand of incendiary has prohibited me from proceeding with this blog post.

UNTIL NOW.

This store is a treasure trove of dark delights. Stocking men and women’s clothing, accessories, housewares and beauty products (including official High Voltage Tattoo merchandise), all items are sourced and chosen by Kat Von D herself and you can certainly see why! From the disturbing to the beautiful, this shop is the perfect haven for lovers of the Gothic and the unusual. And the prices aren’t too scary either.

The main woman herself…

So, in true High Priestess Fashion style, allow me to outline for you my top picks from the collection which I am desperate to have in my wardrobe and that I think you should be craving too. Who knows, I might even throw in a couple of non-clothing items…gasp…variety is the spice of life after all. The excitement is all too much for me.

THE CLOTHES

1) Lynch Tank Dress

If there is one face I want to be walking around wearing on my body, it is David Lynch’s. I positively idolise the guy and everything he lays his distinctive finger upon. Team this tank dress with an oversized plaid shirt, a pair of fishnets and some oxblood Dr. Martens and you are surely onto a casual winner.

2) Magik Top 

I can only assume that wearing this top would feel like bathing your body in a mixture of warm butter and honey. And hello, velvet? Who can say no to a spot of velvet? Dress this up with a high-neck white silk blouse with billowing sleeves and a PVC pencil skirt. Victoriana chic with a modern twist. Bingo.

3) Morrissey Bodysuit

Okay, maybe there are TWO faces which I would happily have on my body. MORRISSEY. ON A BODYSUIT. WHAT IS NOT TO LOVE? Armed and ready for action.

4) Nightplay Bustier Dress

Always wanted to look like the perfect vamp-ish pinup, but never know how to do it? All you need is this dress. Literally. That is it. This dress could make the most conservative, plainest of Janes look like a provocative queen. I need this ASAP.

5) Poe T-Shirt

This unisex tee is simple but effective. Big ol’ Edgar’s face on the front accompanied by an eye-test of his glorious words on the back. All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream…love, love, love!

THE ACCESSORIES

1) Wanderlust Oxford Heels

The epitome of the ‘killer heel’. These shoes certainly were not made for walking. Strictly car-to-bar stilettos. But what the heck, treat your feet, girl!

2) Tooled Leather Violin-Muse Belt

This belt is enough to bring tears of joy and amazement to the eyes of any classical music fans. It is literally a masterpiece of true artistry. A work of genius. I can’t believe I never thought of it before. This is the only belt one could ever need. Downright stunning.

3) Vampire Princess Nail Rings

These nail rings are the perfect touch of bling. I’ve always wanted to be a vampire princess…and now with these nail rings, I well and truly can! You can tell admirers that those are the blood droplets of your enemies you keep as mementos…just to REALLY creep them out. MWAHAHAHAHA!

HOME DECOR

1) The Vendetta Garden Gnome

Seriously, how cute is this little guy? I genuinely cannot cope with how adorable he is. LOOK AT HIS CREEPY LITTLE FACE. I’m done. I am so done.

2) Black Pre-Dripped Pillar Candle

Anyone who has ever been lucky enough to enter my family home will vouch for the fact that the females in this household have a mild obsession with candles. And nothing screams ambiance quite like a black pre-dripped candle. If there is one thing I need in my life, it is this candle. Just as long as a virgin doesn’t light it. Wouldn’t want to be summoning any Sanderson Sisters now…or would we?

Last but not least, Wonderland LA is also the main stockist of Kat Von D’s make-up brand, Sephora…but more about that in a blog post in the very near future. For now, it’s an adios from me. And I suppose I better wish you all a happy new year so…happy new year!

-Niamhy xx

How To Goth Up The Festive Season’s Go-To Sequinned Mini!

The struggle is real. The struggle of the Goth girl trying to maintain the courage of her convictions yet attempting to not look too morbid to be confused for attending a close relative’s funeral when, in actual fact, she is actually about to attend the party of the year: the work Christmas party. As I said: THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.

It would seem that this Christmas’ must-have party item is the sequinned mini. It is the ultimate statement piece. Everywhere you go, there they are, frolicking the night (and their life…and their heels) away in the middle of the dancefloor: the personified disco balls. The very definition of garishness.

Having previously been an avid defender of simplicity and hater of the all-over glitter sensation that is AW14’s sequinned mini, I must admit, over the past week I have begun to grow a little jealous. I must admit, over the past week I have begun to desire a dress which captures every glimmer of light as a shimmy away in a vodka-induced frenzy. I must admit, over the past week I have begun to covet a sequinned mini.

And so, the search began. The ultimate search. The search for the Holy Grail of Autumn-Winter 2014.

Thus, here lies the final resting place of my conclusion. After a week of ceaseless scouring, I have decided upon my top five statement dresses suitable for the Goth girl unwilling to conform to the layman’s vision of mainstream normality (all of which I rather conveniently found on ASOS). Let us begin…

1) Sequin Swing Dress with Collar and Cuffs

Wednesday Addams called. She wants her dress back.

2) Motel Sally Mae T-Shirt Dress in All Over Sequin

The Little Mermaid called. She wants her dress back.

3) Goldie Outsider Dress With Sequin Detail

Tinkerbell called. She wants her dress back.

4) ASOS Premium Sequin Mini Dress

Poison Ivy called. She wants her dress back.

5) Little White Lies Sequin T-Shirt Dress With Mesh Back

Dear reader, you’ll be glad to hear that my comparisons have run dry. This dress is yours. You can keep this one.

Of course, no outfit is complete without the perfect statement accessories. However, considering the vitality of these wicked dresses, I would recommend keeping your decorative trinkets as simplistic as possible. You don’t want to be giving any acquaintances a migraine simply because they dared to stare. I’m loving:

1) ASOS PATCH IT UP Platforms

Nothing completes an outfit more than a pair of velvet burlesque heels, I’ll tell you that for free.

2) Plastic Clutch Bag

 

Back-to-school meets Gothic chic.

And the finishing touch. The icing on the cake. Actually, the cherry on top of the icing…

3) Urbancode Faux Fur Coat

You know what? My parents have spent a lot of time complaining about the fact that I haven’t indicated what I would fancy for Christmas. Perhaps I should just direct them to this blog. Now, that’s an idea.

Tally-ho, folks!

-Niamhy xx

The Perfect Ten: The Ten Most Beautifully Flawless Women To Ever Grace This Planet…

…that is, in the humble opinion of The High Priestess.

Ladies and gentlemen, behold the icons of my idolatry. Darwin’s fittest females in accordance with the evolution of mankind. My Perfect Ten. It is time to unleash the green-eyed monster.

10) Edie Sedgwick

Andy Warhol’s muse and the only person who can wear those disgustingly extravagant earrings and not look like Pat Butcher (she somehow makes those mini-chandeliers look like the epitome of elegance): the glorious Ms. Sedgwick. Unfortunately, the wildness of the era and the whirlwind world of fast-paced youth got the better of our Edie and she sadly passed at the tender age of 28 in 1971. However, her memory lives on in the multitudes of stunning photographs of the superstar, Warhol’s films and Leddra Chapman’s haunting ode ‘Edie’ (please excuse the dodgy video). Long live the It Girl.

9) Siouxsie Sioux

The lead singer of Siouxsie and the Banshees, many (including myself) would claim that Siouxsie Sioux is the ultimate Queen of the Trad Goths…for obvious reasons. The androgynous style, the raven’s nest hair, the dramatic eye make-up; Siouxsie has it all, not to mention her stellar music! It’s official. Siouxsie is the perfect Gothic package.

(Excuse the profanity…you have been warned.)

8) Agyness Deyn

At one point in every girl’s life, she will lay eyes upon the one woman she aspires to look like. Her true style icon. For me, that woman is Agyness Deyn. I dare say anyone who knows me well would be willing to stand up in a court of law and proclaim that my obsession with Agy is unhealthy. Every night I pray that I wake up the next morning looking like her. She is the definition of flawless. I cannot even convey how much I want to be her. It’s not fair. Life is just not fair.

7) Annie Lennox

Is it becoming pretty evident that I have a mild infatuation with buzzcuts? Considering I often get called ‘Mini Annie Lennox’ by my colleagues, it would be completely unfathomable for me to exclude the gorgeous Annie from my list. As if her fashion sense (THOSE SUITS!), cracking hairstyles and angelic voice wasn’t enough to make you jealous, she has the personality of a saint and a delightful Scottish brogue. I love her. Especially in this music video.

6) Kat Von D

She is the woman who worked wonders for inked ladies all over the world, highlighting the power and beauty of tattooing and encouraging everyone to embrace their bodies as a human canvas. Not only is Kat Von D a magician with a needle and ink, she also has a killer fashion line (which I plan on doing a blog post on once the online shop is up and running again following a devastating fire) and a fabulous Gothic make-up range. With talents galore, it is impossible not to adore this masterpiece of a woman.

5) Twiggy

The Bambi eyes. The boyish figure. The pixie cut. The button nose. The pouting lips. Twiggy is my vision of idealistic beauty. She is the woman who made me fall in love with vintage fashion many, many moons ago and for that I am truly thankful. Thank you, Twiggy. I owe you big time.

4) Kate Bush

As if having outrageously brilliant talents for choreography, singing and song-writing isn’t enough, Kate Bush just had to throw in the fact that she is stunningly gorgeous and can work a tweed suit better than any Fleet Street businessman or Oxford English Literature lecturer ever could. She is also insanely intelligent and isn’t afraid to make controversial political statements (Army Dreamers, anyone?). In your face, Patriarchy. IN. YOUR. FACE. Altogether now: I’M COMING BACK NOW, CRUEL HEATHCLIFF, MY ONE DREAM, MY ONLY MAAAAAASTER!

3) Florence Welch

I fondly recall summer 2010 as the summer my best friend and I officially became infatuated with Florence + The Machine’s album Lungs. That was the beginning of our ongoing adoration of Ms. Welch. No matter what she is wearing, be it an ethereal evening gown or a suit made from what resembles cheap wallpaper from the 1980s, the lady never seems to put a fashionable foot out of place. And speaking of feet…Florence’s perfectly pedicured tootsies are also things to be envied. Yes. She is so immaculate that even HER FEET are perfect. Ugh. And if this song doesn’t make you shed the tears of a thousand lonely sunsets, you have a heart of stone I tell you.

2) Stevie Nicks

The White Witch herself. Stevie is just completely magical. Mystical. Spellbinding. It cannot be denied that the blood that courses through her veins sparkles with stardust. If you have ever travelled through the countryside of Ireland via train, listening to Stevie’s haunting vocals whilst the rain sends floods of teardrops cascading down the window pane, you will understand the power of this woman’s soul. It is to Nicks that I owe the deepest gratitude for encouraging me to embrace the fantastical world of the paranormal, the tarot…all things dark and enchanting. Thank you, beautiful, beautiful woman. You allowed me to be who I am.

1) Dita Von Teese

Um. Yeah. I don’t think I need to go into detail here. I think we all know. There is no need. Dita Von Teese. My sin. My soul. Oh, Dita, do me a favour and lend me your coat. I swear I’ll give it back. I promise.

So, if you haven’t all drifted into the Land of Nod having been completely bored to death by my nonsensical ravings, I thank you for your attention and your patience. Now, leave me to wallow in self-pity, self-loathing and jealousy. It’s going to take me a little while to get over this post. Too much perfection. Too much envy.

The green-eyed monster, over and out.

-Niamhy xx

An Ode To Dita

As I previously stated, I am basically wandering aimlessly through this world of fashion blogging, so I dare say that this style of post will soon evolve into a feature along the lines of ‘Style Icon of the Week’ but we shall cross that ivy-suffocated burning bridge when we come to it. Anyway, let’s get to it…

Burlesque star. Pin-up model. Fashion designer. Business woman. Actual superhero. The classiest, most glamorous, most alluring woman to ever exist. Who else would have a list of accolades this lengthy? It can only be one person. This, ladies and gentlemen, is my ode to Dita Von Teese.

Sigh.

There are simply no words to convey the envy I feel for this lady. She has it all. Everything that makes her ‘perfect’ in the Gothic style stakes. Actually, she has so many wonderful attributes that contribute to her distinctly Gothic image that I couldn’t even begin to list them. But I’m sure as hell going to try.

1) Her flawless skin.

This is possibly the greatest item of anguish for me that Ms. Dita possesses. She is (metaphorically) a porcelain doll. She has the skin of a newly-birthed blanket of midnight Christmas snow. And you know it must be something grand because I literally just wrote a poem about it in that sentence.

2) The perfect pin-up hourglass figure.

Sometimes I find myself staring at images upon images of Dita with one question whirling around my mind…HOW? Surely a figure like that defies every law of science. This woman defies all of the laws of science.

3) She works a tuxedo better than any man ever could.

Dita Von Teese: forever making fashion statements which scream, “Sisters are doing it for themselves!” (You will soon learn that women in menswear is my favourite thing ever.)

4) She has a vintage wardrobe to positively DIE for (just keeping it Goth).

Von Teese is one of those life-ruining people who still somehow manages to be breathtakingly beautiful doing the most human tasks. Bringing out the bins. Walking the dog. Posting a letter. SHE ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE A STARLET. She struts around in those Louboutins like they are ballet pumps. She takes no prisoners.

5) She wore the most killer purple dress when she married the Goth Dark Lord himself, Marilyn Manson.

Marriages fade. The perfect dress lasts forever.

And if I hadn’t made it crystal clear enough yet that Dita Von Teese is the most perfect person to ever grace this planet, she is an avid supporter of the charity PETA, whilst also raising awareness of AIDS and campaigning for women’s rights. Should we just drop everything and build a shrine to her right now?

Dita has no need to fear falling downstairs…the stairs build themselves around her…

If there are any readers left who I haven’t scared off by my uncontrollable gushing about Queen Dita, I bid you a fond farewell and hope to speak to you soon. Over and out!

Niamhy xx