An Ode To Dita

As I previously stated, I am basically wandering aimlessly through this world of fashion blogging, so I dare say that this style of post will soon evolve into a feature along the lines of ‘Style Icon of the Week’ but we shall cross that ivy-suffocated burning bridge when we come to it. Anyway, let’s get to it…

Burlesque star. Pin-up model. Fashion designer. Business woman. Actual superhero. The classiest, most glamorous, most alluring woman to ever exist. Who else would have a list of accolades this lengthy? It can only be one person. This, ladies and gentlemen, is my ode to Dita Von Teese.

Sigh.

There are simply no words to convey the envy I feel for this lady. She has it all. Everything that makes her ‘perfect’ in the Gothic style stakes. Actually, she has so many wonderful attributes that contribute to her distinctly Gothic image that I couldn’t even begin to list them. But I’m sure as hell going to try.

1) Her flawless skin.

This is possibly the greatest item of anguish for me that Ms. Dita possesses. She is (metaphorically) a porcelain doll. She has the skin of a newly-birthed blanket of midnight Christmas snow. And you know it must be something grand because I literally just wrote a poem about it in that sentence.

2) The perfect pin-up hourglass figure.

Sometimes I find myself staring at images upon images of Dita with one question whirling around my mind…HOW? Surely a figure like that defies every law of science. This woman defies all of the laws of science.

3) She works a tuxedo better than any man ever could.

Dita Von Teese: forever making fashion statements which scream, “Sisters are doing it for themselves!” (You will soon learn that women in menswear is my favourite thing ever.)

4) She has a vintage wardrobe to positively DIE for (just keeping it Goth).

Von Teese is one of those life-ruining people who still somehow manages to be breathtakingly beautiful doing the most human tasks. Bringing out the bins. Walking the dog. Posting a letter. SHE ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE A STARLET. She struts around in those Louboutins like they are ballet pumps. She takes no prisoners.

5) She wore the most killer purple dress when she married the Goth Dark Lord himself, Marilyn Manson.

Marriages fade. The perfect dress lasts forever.

And if I hadn’t made it crystal clear enough yet that Dita Von Teese is the most perfect person to ever grace this planet, she is an avid supporter of the charity PETA, whilst also raising awareness of AIDS and campaigning for women’s rights. Should we just drop everything and build a shrine to her right now?

Dita has no need to fear falling downstairs…the stairs build themselves around her…

If there are any readers left who I haven’t scared off by my uncontrollable gushing about Queen Dita, I bid you a fond farewell and hope to speak to you soon. Over and out!

Niamhy xx